This story was inspired by the photo prompt by Quill Shiv:
Don’t Look Down
“No matter what you see in there, do not touch the water. That stuff is poison.” The older man grabbed the boy by the shoulders and stared into his eyes. “Do you you understand?”
“How are we supposed to cross this without touching the water?”
“It’s easier than it looks. Just jump from stump to stump. Move fast and keep your head up.” The man released his grip and looked toward the other side. “Watch and learn.”
With that the man casually moved across the ancient stumps to the other side of the water hole as he had countless times before.
“I don’t know,” the boy stammered. “Can’t I just go around?”
“Not unless you want to add a few days to our trip. It’s best not to even look at the water. Try not to think about it. It can’t tempt you if you don’t look at it.”
The boy swallowed the growing lump in his throat. It felt like a baseball going down. He shifted his feet and hunkered down. He ran at top speed toward the water, hoping it was as easy as his father made it look. His eyes wandered down to check his footing on the second stump. His toes hugged the edge, but otherwise, his foot hold was solid.
“Head up!” his father shouted, but something in the water had already caught the boy’s eye.
The boy’s momentum carried him forward, though his foot made no attempt at landing on the next tree stump. He reached for the water, trying desperately to grasp some unknown object just beneath the surface. All memories of his father’s warning faded when he splashed into the acidic water.
April 5th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
I got really caught up in this. Why is it that kids never do what they’re told??? Very, very spooky. Well done.
April 5th, 2012 at 11:08 AM
If I had the answer of why kids never do what they’re told, I’d put it in a book and be a millionaire. It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries.
April 5th, 2012 at 10:43 AM
I love the thought process of the dad here. It makes me wonder if he didn’t have a more sinister motivation as to cutting over the lake or not. Did you think of that while writing it?
Great flash this week! I can’t want to read more from you!
April 5th, 2012 at 11:13 AM
I did not think of that, but I can see how you could question his motives. The original idea behind the father was to encourage the boy to get to the other side without telling him how truly dangerous the water actually is.
April 5th, 2012 at 12:41 PM
Heartbreaking. This was very well written.
Here’s mine: http://threedescriptors.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/flash-fiction-19-mirror-pond/
April 5th, 2012 at 7:49 PM
Thanks!
April 5th, 2012 at 1:15 PM
There’s something in that water that I want… I NEED to know about!
April 5th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
When writing this I looked at the water as a kind of organism on par with an angler fish. By the time you get close enough to realize there isn’t really anything there worth having, it’s already too late.
April 5th, 2012 at 5:29 PM
Yikes!
April 5th, 2012 at 7:51 PM
Yikes, indeed. Not any water hole I’d want to come across.
April 5th, 2012 at 7:58 PM
Oh no!!! No, no. Poor boy. This trip does not have a happy ending at all. gah! Talk about eliciting a strong reaction from me. Good job even though I didn’t want the boy to get hurt.
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/cajuns-and-crawdads/
April 5th, 2012 at 8:09 PM
I thought about having the boy make it across, but that wouldn’t have brought out nearly as strong of a reaction. Even when I want to make a happy ending, sometimes my fingers turn traitor and throw in a dose of horror. I’m powerless against them, really. They type what they want.