Wow, this one didn’t come easy. I hope it doesn’t show. Chances are you’ll be left scratching your head about why he did what he did in part one by the time you get to the end of part 2. Those questions will hopefully be answered in the future. Oh and just a quick not, there will be no Winger next week. I’ll be on vacation so I’ll be skipping next Friday’s get together. You’ll have to wait two weeks for the next installment. Sorry!
As always, thanks to Madison for hosting and the rest of you for reading.
Comments, criticism, and half drunken rants are encouraged.
Read previous installments: Part 1
She Never Listens (The Winger Chronicles: Part 2)
He pushed through the brush at the edge of the forest, knowing she was creeping along behind, not able to bring himself to send her back. Just beyond the nearly impassable brambles was a field, greener than any he’d ever seen. Beyond the field were mountains, and clouds that looked so much like mountains that it was impossible to tell where the real mountains ended and the fake ones began.
The girl poked her head through the thorny barrier.
“You shouldn’t have followed me.”
“You shouldn’t have left me.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
She pointed to the endless mountains. “Dad, look!”
———-
Read the stories from the other hooligans by clicking the image below.
August 31st, 2012 at 6:48 AM
Look at what? You’re going to leave me hanging for two weeks. Agh! I was a little confused as to who said what, though…aside from that, your usual stellar writing pulled me in.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:30 PM
I am going to leave you guessing for two weeks. Dialogue went like this: dad, daughter, dad, daughter.
August 31st, 2012 at 7:43 AM
Amazing how the two parts stand on their own as well as come together so beautifully!
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:30 PM
Thanks, that’s what I was hoping for!
August 31st, 2012 at 8:45 AM
What’s there?!?
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:30 PM
We’ll just have to wait and see. Hopefully it’s worth the wait!
August 31st, 2012 at 9:58 AM
OOOOH! He’s her Father! It’s like the “you knew my father” trope is comign to haunt us, and now we’re going to have to wait two whole week to find out more. Great excerpt! Keep it up!
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/friday-fiction-white-pegasi/
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:33 PM
Indeed, he is her father. I’m looking forward to the next installment as much as everyone else. I’m just as in the dark as the rest of you. Well maybe not totally, but when it comes to what comes next.
August 31st, 2012 at 10:38 AM
“impassable brambles” is a great combination of words.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:33 PM
Thanks, Craig.
August 31st, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Oh, how could you leave us hanging like that? 😉 A literal cliff-hanger.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/for-the-world-is-hollow/
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:34 PM
Got to have some way of making people want to come back to read my stories. What better way than to leave them hanging?
August 31st, 2012 at 11:31 AM
That’s harsh – we must wait TWO whole weeks?
Have a great time away & “see” you when you get back.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:34 PM
I guess I’m just going to have to be okay with being harsh. 🙂 and thanks.
August 31st, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Yearning for more. http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/friday-fictioneers-harmattan-rain/
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:35 PM
As am I. The more I write of this character, the more I like him.
August 31st, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Whoa that’s her Dad??? I’m having a WTF moment though about why she’s following him. Not really about part one, I’m sure there was a good reason for it. I guess it might be a Devil You Know thing? I’m 43 on the list today.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:37 PM
Hopefully that’ll be answered later. These 100 word limits are a killer to giving all of the information I want to give!
August 31st, 2012 at 2:36 PM
I’d been away for a while and missed Part 1, so I had to go back and read it before I could grasp the full story. I love dystopian stories and that’s what this sounds like. I look forward to seeing where the prompts take us.
I also started with a new character this week. I expect she’ll show up again as well. Here’s the link: http://melodypearson.com/august-30-2012-before-the-storm/
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:38 PM
I’m not exactly sure where this story is headed, but I’m really liking this character and thinking of putting him into something longer than 100 words.
August 31st, 2012 at 5:11 PM
Dad? He’s her dad? Well that puts a different spin on things.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:39 PM
It does, doesn’t it? I didn’t even see that one coming, but there it was.
August 31st, 2012 at 6:41 PM
What, what’s there?? No fair! *stomping foot* Well done, still hooked, I am.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:40 PM
When the time comes, we’ll all find out what’s there.
August 31st, 2012 at 9:11 PM
Aaaargh…you are a tease! Well done, will be tuning in again.
September 1st, 2012 at 9:25 AM
I love your line about the real mountains and the fake mountains. Sometimes when I’m not in sight of mountains (most of my life, unfortunately), I like to look at the clouds when they’re in just the right place and imagine that there really were mountains there and revel in how wonderful that would be!
Nice job as always. Have a wonderful vacation and come back with lots of potential stories in your rested brain.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:43 PM
Thanks. The mountains around here aren’t too big, so I like when the clouds make them look bigger, though there’s no denying where the real ones end and the fake begin.
September 1st, 2012 at 12:15 PM
good one! this was quality!
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:40 PM
Thanks, Bill.
September 2nd, 2012 at 4:20 PM
lovely pointed dialogue – and the characters are so well described in so few words. Nicely done. Rachel P.
September 3rd, 2012 at 6:44 PM
Thanks, Rachel.
September 4th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
This reminds me of the old-time TV shows where each episode would leaving hanging off a cliff by your fingernails waiting for next week’s program. Great writing, Adam.
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