Photo copyright Sean Fallon
“Psst,” a voice whispered.
“Is someone there?” Anthony’s voice quivered before the empty stairs of the derelict building.
The door without a knob swung slowly into the darkness.
“Did Jimmy send you?” the barely audible voice asked.
“I’m sorry?” Anthony stepped closer.
The crumbling walls of the enclave twisted into a brick toothed grin. Before Anthony could run, the mouth in the side of the building lunged forward and latched onto him, grinding and mashing its teeth.
Anthony’s mangled body disappeared through the door and it slammed closed. The mouth contorted itself back into an entryway and waited once again.
Adam Ickes 
November 20th, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Adam, I know this is a horror story and one I think is well-written, but I’m laughing to myself because it is so you!! I feel the same way about going through a handle-less door that opens by itself as I do about the insanity of approaching slimy pods in sci-fi movies: Just say “no”!!!
janet
November 20th, 2013 at 10:59 AM
He would have been much more hesitant about the whole experience if I’d been allowed more than 100 words. 100 words doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for hesitation.
Staying away from slimy pods is probably good advice to live by, but life is supposed to be about taking risks isn’t it? What could be riskier than approaching a slimy pod that may or may not spit an alien onto your face?
November 20th, 2013 at 11:32 AM
that door is extremely deceptive, complete with the whole “Did Jimmy send you?” act. nice sinister and imaginative piece. 🙂
November 20th, 2013 at 11:50 AM
It’s not just the door that is deceptive. That mouth needs to be attached to something. I envision it as a building sized monster wedged between two real buildings, pretending like it belongs there and eating the loners who pass by in the night when the bait of the voice lures them too close.
November 20th, 2013 at 12:18 PM
like hungry aliens taking the shape of inanimate objects here on earth. yep, cool. maybe they’ve been eating people for god-knows-how-long 🙂
November 20th, 2013 at 12:06 PM
It’s funny how when you’re only allowed the punchline it takes some of the apprehension and nervousness out of the situation. I, too am laughing despite the fact that it’s not really funny.
November 20th, 2013 at 12:51 PM
Know anyone with a video camera? I can throw a script together and we can turn this into a glorious B-movie in a matter of weeks! We’ll be billionaires…or nobodies… hard to say really.
November 21st, 2013 at 8:02 AM
With really cheap special effects….
November 21st, 2013 at 8:11 AM
Wouldn’t be a B-movie without really cheap special effects.
The sad thing is I’m totally serious that I’d love to turn this into a low budget movie. The sadder thing is I have no idea about that sort of thing so it’ll never happen.
November 21st, 2013 at 8:47 AM
I hate when that happens… when your imagination outreaches your ability. I have an entire script for a graphic novel (I mean, I suppose I could take the story and write it as prose, but) but I don’t have the artistic ability to make that ever become a reality.
November 21st, 2013 at 9:01 AM
I know the feeling. Changing it to prose wouldnt quench the desire to see it as a graphic novel. I run in to that problem a lot. It’s irritating.
November 20th, 2013 at 12:41 PM
For some reason, I found this very entertaining. I’m still laughing. i guess it must be the idea of the brick building concealing a giant mouth. Anyway. I liked your fanciful tale.
November 20th, 2013 at 12:50 PM
It’s stories like this one that make me wish I was a film maker. This has all the makings of what could be a wonderous B-movie. The best kind of movie in my opinion.
November 20th, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Maybe I’m more easily frightened than everyone else, but I read this as scary – although you’re right Adam – it is hard to get suspense in something so short. But a great idea for a short piece of horror.
November 20th, 2013 at 12:56 PM
Thanks, Claire. Perhaps most people aren’t reading it as scary because I was going more for a B-movie kind of vibe. Horror sevred with a slice of “I can see the zipper”. 🙂
November 20th, 2013 at 12:53 PM
Aha! The old whispering door routine : ) That was so unexpected, what a great story, Adam.
November 20th, 2013 at 12:57 PM
Silly humans fall for it every time!
November 20th, 2013 at 12:57 PM
Sounds scary enough to me. I don’t like walking in front of derelict buildings at any time and one that emits whispers is definitely a no-no. Good story.
November 21st, 2013 at 8:12 AM
I love the look of run down buildings. They tell a story that modern buildings with their shiny glass and clean lines can never touch. Though I agree that whispers from a building are surely a sign to stay away.
November 20th, 2013 at 2:45 PM
I hate it when that happens!
November 21st, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Isn’t it the worst? You’re just walking along and then BAM! Eaten by a building!
November 21st, 2013 at 10:26 AM
So sad!
November 20th, 2013 at 3:12 PM
I was not expecting that! Great story.
November 21st, 2013 at 8:14 AM
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
November 20th, 2013 at 3:18 PM
I never would have seen a giant mouth (and face) here before reading your piece but now it jumps out at me. Look at those teeth! You couldn’t possibly floss them given the lack of spaces between them. I see the statue head as a small nose with wrinkles around it (the abdomen of the torso). Great job – . “and waited once again.”
November 21st, 2013 at 8:16 AM
It’s all a waiting game with this building monster. Walking down the street would draw too much attention.
November 20th, 2013 at 7:09 PM
Shouldn’t the main character be a high school cheerleader?
November 21st, 2013 at 8:18 AM
It was originally a female character, but the mannequin is male so I changed it. High school cheerleader would have been a good choice though.
November 20th, 2013 at 8:05 PM
Oh my!
November 21st, 2013 at 8:20 AM
No lions, tiger and/or bears here. You’ve got the wrong story. Come back next week. That’s when we’ll be casting the role of Dorothy for our annual horrible retelling of the Wizard of Oz. You may just get the part since you’ve already forgotten 3/4 of the line. 🙂
November 20th, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Dear Adam,
I’ve had nightmares like this. Sorry about the word limit. I still got a kick out of this somewhere between frightening and tongue in brick story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
November 21st, 2013 at 8:22 AM
No worries on the word limit. I like the feel of this one. I could easily go over 100 words and no one would care, but I like to make sure I hit 100 exactly because I’m mental and apparently enjoy torturing myself.
November 20th, 2013 at 11:48 PM
Oh this is most imaginative!! 😀
November 21st, 2013 at 8:24 AM
There’s even a lesson buried in there: Don’t trust buildings that whisper. They’re probably going to eat you.
November 22nd, 2013 at 12:03 PM
You are so right! I’m adding it to my Things to Be Paranoid About List post haste!!
November 21st, 2013 at 2:08 AM
A Venus fly trap…morphed into a building…or vice versa. Great imagery and writing!
November 21st, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Exactly like that. Thanks for reading!
November 21st, 2013 at 11:07 PM
My pleasure…
November 21st, 2013 at 12:28 PM
Super freaky!
November 21st, 2013 at 10:33 PM
It’s like hungry, hungry hippos… only on a larger scale!
November 22nd, 2013 at 1:37 PM
Haha great comparison!
November 21st, 2013 at 12:54 PM
Sounds almost like a Clive Barker story I read once — but his trap was a giant vagina in a wall… that boy has issues…
November 21st, 2013 at 10:34 PM
Can’t say I’ve read that one… and I thought I had a screwed up mind. I look down right normal in comparison.
November 21st, 2013 at 3:06 PM
That’s a great imaginative take on the photo, Adam. I loved the “brick toothed grin” – such a vivid image.
November 21st, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Thanks, Karen. And thanks for reading.
November 21st, 2013 at 8:44 PM
Wow!!! That was really scary. I half expected that the building would spit out a chunk after it was done masticating…maybe spit out the boots like Lara Flynn Boyle in Men in Black II. Perhaps that explains the origin of the “mannequin” pieces that sit in the doorway???
Great stuff!!!
November 21st, 2013 at 10:37 PM
Honestly, that was my plan in the beginning- to have the building spit out something onto the stairs, but I ran out of words so I left that part out.
November 21st, 2013 at 9:47 PM
You should write about Jimmy next time. That would make an interesting story.
November 21st, 2013 at 10:38 PM
I’m not sure Jimmy exists. I’m not even sure the building uses the name Jimmy in its baiting process every time.
November 21st, 2013 at 10:42 PM
I was thinking Jimmy was a human stooge that sent victims to the building in exchange for…I don’t know.
November 22nd, 2013 at 6:25 AM
What a wickedly clever (and hungry) building — I love the question about Jimmy to goad people to step closer. Excellent story, Adam — I very much enjoyed this.
November 22nd, 2013 at 2:02 PM
Trickery abounds in this wonderfully weird world of ours, buildings are no exception to the rule. Well giant monsters that resemble buildings anyway… I can’t say for sure one way or the other on the tricky ways of regular buildings. Glad you enjoyed my little tale.
November 22nd, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Okay, I’ll be hustling past doorways from now on! Nice and scary. 😉
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/a-conversation-at-the-site-of-jennifer-juniors/
November 22nd, 2013 at 2:03 PM
It seems my work here is done. Time to pack it up and retire on a high note.