PHOTO PROMPT © Ron Pruitt
“Me first,” the old man shouted as he pushed through the crowd. His words reminded me of my daughter. She’d always had to be first, like most kids.
I stood there watching–just watching–as the old man struggled with the high step onto the bus. No one bothered helping him.
I allowed my thoughts to wander. I thought of my little girl, of what I was leaving behind.
I looked at my suitcase, and thought of my wife. We tried. We really did, but we couldn’t make it work.
I got on the bus. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t.
—
This one is a bit outside of my usual, but I like it. I think there’s an overwhelming sadness to it, which is like a second cousin of horror. Or something like that anyway.
Written for Friday Fictioneers.
Click here to read the other stories.
Adam Ickes 
October 21st, 2015 at 5:33 PM
Well It would have been the decent thing to do , if someone would have helped him. People get plum sick & tired, though, of pushy characters.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:15 PM
They do indeed. Thanks for reading.
October 21st, 2015 at 10:14 PM
I like the story and the sentiments, but I think the verb tenses are throwing me off a little. I’m not sure if “Looking back” is literally looking back (over his shoulder) or looking back in time.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:15 PM
It was meant to be looking back in time, but I see where you’re coming from. Thanks for pointing that out.
October 21st, 2015 at 11:30 PM
Great job, Adam. You really brought through the sense of loss. I can sure relate.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:16 PM
Thanks, Perry. Being able to relate isn’t really a good thing in this case though.
October 22nd, 2015 at 2:11 AM
I’m guessing it’s too lad for him to change his mind and go back? Sad.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:16 PM
Yes, much too late.
October 22nd, 2015 at 3:26 AM
After he shoved his way to the front, I wouldn’t have helped him either. It sounds like your narrator is in two minds about his decision.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:17 PM
I can’t say I would have helped him either, and yes, in two minds about it describes him perfectly.
October 22nd, 2015 at 8:17 AM
The sadness is very clear. I think he should change his mind, too.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:18 PM
It takes two sides to change their minds for it to go another way. He is only half of the equation.
October 26th, 2015 at 10:05 AM
That’s true.
October 22nd, 2015 at 4:06 PM
The story really works with the last sentence… so laced with regret.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:18 PM
Thanks, Bjorn.
October 22nd, 2015 at 4:28 PM
That is a sad story of deep regret! Well-narrated! This prompt seems to be taking a lot of people into such spaces.
October 25th, 2015 at 8:19 PM
Thank you. Not sure why it took me there, but it did.
October 24th, 2015 at 5:40 PM
Such defined characters in so few words! Well done!
October 25th, 2015 at 8:19 PM
Thanks. I appreciate the kind words.
October 24th, 2015 at 9:01 PM
I feel sorry for the old man as well as the narrator. Even though he pushed to the front, no one was willing to help the old man and the narrator is giving up what he still seems to love.
janet
October 25th, 2015 at 8:20 PM
I feel sorry for both of them as well. Thanks for stopping by, Janet.
October 26th, 2015 at 6:20 AM
The sense of having tried, and the reflectiveness and sadness, is a moment in life that we all have experienced. Some of us get on the bus, some don’t.
Randy
October 26th, 2015 at 12:25 PM
There is definitely overwhelming sadness lurking in this story.
October 27th, 2015 at 9:41 AM
Good story, Adam. It is different than your usual stories. I’d say he felt anguish which is more intense than sadness and closer to horror. Well done. —- Suzanne