Tag Archives: humor

There’s Something Happening Here

PHOTO PROMPT – © Sandra Crook

PHOTO PROMPT – © Sandra Crook

“What is it?” Barrett asked.

“Ain’t exactly clear on what it’s supposed to be,” Johnny replied.

Barrett nudged Johnny in the ribs. “There’s a man with a gun over there!”

Johnny laughed. “That’s the security guard, dummy.”

Barrett reached across the red velvet rope to touch the strange sculpture.

“Stop!” The security guard shouted just as Barrett’s finger slid across the outer metal ring.

Johnny looked over his shoulder. “Hey, what’s that sound?”

The thunderous pounding of many feet rounded the corner–more guards.

“Take him away, men.” The security guard eyed Johnny cautiously as the others hauled Barrett away.

I had a couple requests for a more light-hearted piece this week after last week’s depressing story of a man visiting his dead, abusive mother’s grave. This led to the only logical conclusion: I did a collaboration with Buffalo Springfield this week. Maybe I’ll join forces with Mungo Jerry next week.

Also, I apologize for not reading many stories last week. The wife and munchkin came down with strep and required a bit of extra time and attention from me.

Written for Friday Fictioneers.

Click here for stories by the other Fictioneers.

 


The Grievance

PHOTO PROMPT – © Scott L. Vannatter

PHOTO PROMPT – © Scott L. Vannatter

To the Sir and Madam of the house:

I have written this letter to share my discontent with the living conditions that have been provided. I realize that you both work very hard to provide a loving home for your family, but I feel the needs of others are being placed before my own and I do not appreciate it. I will forward to you a list of demands that must be met or I will set in motion the process of making your lives hell. Be advised, once this is done it cannot be undone.

Warmest Regards,
The Cat

Written for Friday Fictioneers.

Click here to read stories from the other Fictioneers.


The Big Bird Disaster

PHOTO PROMPT © Luther Siler

PHOTO PROMPT © Luther Siler

“Ok, sir, tell me what happened here.”

“Some psycho just came up and sliced Big Bird open the whole way up his back. Then his insides just kind of, I don’t know, walked away I guess.”

“His insides?”

“Yeah. His insides.”

“They just got up and walked away?”

“Well they didn’t so much as get up. They just kind of stood there while his skin fell off, but yeah, they walked away. It was really weird.”

“Have you been drinking today, sir?”

“No more than usual.”

 “You do realize Big Bird is just a guy in a costume, don’t you?”

I went a little more lighthearted this week just to change it up a bit.

Written for Friday Fictioneers.

Click here for stories from the other Fictioneers.


A Conversation with Frank

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Jean L. Hays

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Jean L. Hays

“Let me be frank, Frank.”

“ARRRRRRGGG”

“You’re an abomination.”

“ARRRRRGGHHHHHH”

“Do you know how long I’ve worked on stitching you together–how many hours I spent digging up graves to find the various pieces I needed? You don’t, do you?”

“GRRRRRR ARRRRRR UHHHH”

“All that time and effort was wasted. You can’t even talk.”

“AHHHHHH ERRRRRGGGG”

“All I wanted was a companion… someone I could talk to… someone who could talk to me.”

“ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH”

“It gets lonely up here at the castle, Frank.”

“GAAAAAAAHHH.”

“At least make yourself useful and go steal me a woman or two from the village.”

Written for Friday Fictioneers. This prompt gave me a bit of trouble. I didn’t get any horror ideas, probably because I’ve been writing so many horror drabbles lately for the second volume of 100 tiny tales of terror, which will likely be out in December and would make a perfect Christmas gift for yourself or a loved one. *wink wink nudge nudge* Anyway, so instead of horror I envisioned a conversation between Dr. Frankenstein and his monster, who I realize doesn’t actually have a name but I called Frank for the purposes of this story.


Goat Head

These guys originally appeared in the story Friends are Important. They wanted to come back for another. Who am I to turn them down?

I know I haven’t been around much, I even missed Six on the Sixth this month. Sorry about that. I actually did write stories for the last three or so FF prompts, but I didn’t post them because I’ve been in a bit of a writing funk and they just came out looking like garbage to me.

Anyway, on to the words you actually came for. Here’s my story paired with my photo. Thanks for using it as a prompt Rochelle.

copyright-adam-ickes

Goat Head

“Earl?” said the dog.

“Yes, Rufus?” said the frog.

“Why’s there a goat head in the corner?”

“That’s a relic from my Satanist days.” Earl grinned.

“You… were a Satanist?”

“Oh yeah. I was big into the whole ritual sacrifice of virgins scene.”

“That’s not a thing… is it?”

“No. I bought it at a garage sale. It spoke to me.”

“That’s a pretty weird thing to buy. You don’t even like hunting.”

“You should have seen me trying to carry that thing in here by myself. It was a riot.”

“I’m sure it was, Earl. I’m sure it was.”