In Ireland, or Eire if you prefer, there is a stone. I know, I know, there are a lot of stones in Ireland. At least I’m assuming. I’ve never been there. I’d like to go some day, but haven’t made it yet. Anyway, that isn’t the point. This stone in Ireland is known as Lia Fáil, or The Stone of Fal, also called The Stone of Ireland by some. Nope, I’m not talking about the Blarney Stone. You can go ahead and kiss it if you wish, but this stone has a much higher purpose. It used to anyway.
The Stone of Fal goes way back, before the time of Christ. It is purported that the stone had the power to determine the king of Eire even before it was called Eire. How can a stone accomplish such an amazing feat you ask? Well it’s simple really. I’m sure there’s a bit more to it, but the idea is basically this:
Step 1: A man stands on the stone.
Step 2: If this man is the true king of Ireland, the stone roars with joy. If the man is not the true king, the stone does what stones do best, nothing.
Step 3: There is no step 3.
Not only was it believed that the stone could hand select kings, but it also held the power to rejuvenate the king and endow him with a long reign.
The stone hasn’t roared in many a year, however. Ever since some jackass got mad at it and split it with his sword. Proof that even in ancient times, douchebaggery ran rampant among us.